Below is the tentative back cover blurb for my Civil War horror novel A Fine Likeness. This blurb is still a work in progress so any input would be highly appreciated:
A Confederate guerrilla and a Union captain discover there’s something more dangerous in the woods than each other.
A Fine Likeness is a story about two enemies struggling with inner demons, and discovering they face a far more tangible one. Jimmy Rawlins is a teenaged bushwhacker who leads his friends on ambushes of Union patrols. They join infamous guerrilla leader Bloody Bill Anderson on a raid through Missouri, but Jimmy questions his commitment to the Cause when he discovers this madman plans to sacrifice a Union prisoner in a hellish ritual to raise the Confederate dead.
Richard Addison is an aging captain of a lackluster Union militia. Depressed over his son’s death in battle, a glimpse of Jimmy changes his life. Jimmy and his son look so much alike that Addison becomes obsessed with saving him from Bloody Bill. Captain Addison must wreck his reputation to win this war within a war, while Jimmy must decide whether to betray the Confederacy to stop the evil arising in the woods of Missouri.
I love the first sentence, it grabs you quickly, then the next two paragraphs are different styles and suddenly I find myself reading a wiki article or book report. Maybe try introducing your characters in the first sentence.
ReplyDeleteJimmy, a Confederate guerrilla teenager and an aging Union captain, Richard Addison, discover there's something more dangerous in the woods than each other.
Something like that maybe... I am not the best with blurbs.
It is too long. I've had that comment from a couple of people and it confirmed something I suspected. I have two months before it comes out so I have time to tinker!
ReplyDeleteI think I'll keep the first sentence and trim the rest down to size.